Sleep Shaping: Helping your infant build healthy sleep habits from the start

May 4

A Guest blog by Elaine Collins - Founder of EPC Doula

Elaine Collins, CD-PIC

Bringing home a newborn is a magical experience, but it also comes with sleepless nights and unpredictable routines. While it’s completely normal for infants to wake frequently in the early months, sleep shaping can help lay the foundation for better sleep habits!

What is Sleep Shaping?

Sleep shaping is a gentle, responsive approach that introduces healthy sleep habits from birth to around four months old. It’s not about rigid schedules or letting babies "cry it out" but rather about creating an environment and routine that naturally encourages longer, more restful sleep as they grow. Small, intentional changes—like establishing a predictable bedtime routine, ensuring an optimal sleep environment, and recognizing early sleep cues—can make a big difference in how well an infant sleeps in the months to come. Sleep shaping is different from sleep training!

Why Sleep Shaping Matters?

Many parents assume that newborn sleep is so unpredictable and that nothing can be done to improve it until their baby is older. However, even in the early months, small changes can make a big difference in helping your baby settle into a natural rhythm. By gently guiding your baby toward healthy sleep habits, you can prevent sleep struggles down the road and create a smoother transition when your baby is developmentally ready for longer stretches of sleep. Just like potty training, learning to self soothe is a skill to be learned.

Gentle Strategies to Shape your Baby’s Sleep

While every baby is different, here are some simple, gentle strategies to encourage better sleep from the start.

Establish a Predictable Routine

Newborns thrive on predictability. Even though they may not follow a strict schedule, incorporating consistent patterns—such as feeding, playtime, and sleep—helps their bodies begin to recognize natural rhythms.

A simple feed-play-sleep routine can gently guide your baby toward better sleep associations. Focus on full feedings every 2-3 hours during the day to reduce snacking.
Keep bedtime and nap routines consistent, even if the timing varies.
Use calming activities like a warm bath, soft music, or dim lighting to signal that sleep is coming.

Create a Sleep-Friendly Environment

A soothing sleep environment can help signal to your baby that it’s time to rest.

Keep the room dark with blackout curtains for naps and bedtime.
Use a white noise machine to mimic the comforting sounds of the womb.
Ensure your baby’s sleeping area is safe and free from distractions, with a firm mattress and no loose bedding.
Temperature in the room should be between 68-72 degrees F.

Recognize and Respond to Sleep Cues

Understanding your baby’s natural sleep cues can prevent overtiredness, which often makes it harder for them to settle.

Common sleep cues include rubbing eyes, yawning, fussiness, and staring off into space. Practice putting your baby down on their back before they become overtired which makes it easier for them to fall asleep.
Utilize a pacifier to help soothe a newborn and remember it is also a great benefit to reduce SIDS!

Encourage Day-Night Differentiation

Newborns don’t yet have an internal clock, but you can help them start distinguishing between day and night.

During the day, keep the house bright, engaging, and active.
At night, keep interactions calm and minimal to reinforce that nighttime is for sleeping. Swaddle baby to reduce the startle reflex and create a womb-like environment
Create a consistent, calming pre-sleep routine. For example, feed, read a story, swaddle, use a good night phrase such as “time for sleep, I love you”.

Allow Opportunities for Self-Soothing

While newborns often need help falling asleep, you can gently encourage independent sleep skills by allowing them brief moments to settle before intervening.

If your baby stirs but isn’t fully awake, pause for a moment before picking them up.
Gradually introduce gentle settling techniques like patting, shushing, or using a pacifier.

Common Sleep Mistakes (and How to Avoid Them!)

Even with the best intentions, some habits can make sleep more challenging in the long run. Here are a few common mistakes:

❌ Keeping the baby awake too long – This can lead to overtiredness, making it harder for them to fall and stay asleep. An overtired baby does not equal a baby that wants to sleep longer!

❌ Skipping a consistent bedtime routine – Even newborns benefit from simple, predictable bedtime cues.

❌ Relying solely on motion sleep (swings, car rides, etc.) – While this can be helpful sometimes, babies need to learn to sleep in a still environment too.

What If My Baby Still Struggles with Sleep?

Remember, newborn sleep is highly variable, and some babies naturally take longer to develop better sleep habits. If sleep challenges persist, focusing on gentle, responsive care and maintaining consistency will help your baby adjust over time. Consider doing a dream feed somewhere between 10-11 pm if baby seems to be waking.

Final Thoughts

Sleep shaping isn’t about forcing a schedule or letting your baby “cry it out”—it’s about gently guiding your baby toward independent sleep in a way that feels natural and nurturing. By establishing simple, healthy habits early on, you can help create a positive sleep foundation that benefits the entire family.

Remember, every baby is different, and what works for one may not work for another. Trust your instincts, stay flexible, and know that restful nights are ahead!

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, working with a certified sleep consultant can provide tailored guidance to support your baby’s sleep journey while aligning with your parenting style. Create a team of empowered women around you and you will be amazed!

About the Author

Elaine Collins, mother of three, Gigi of two. Elaine supports women before pregnancy as a fertility doula, post pregnancy as a postpartum doula and has expanded her offerings as a pediatric sleep consultant. Sleep is so important for baby supporting brain development, aids in physical growth, strengthens the immune system, regulates mood and emotional well being, improves feeding and digestion, establishes a circadian rhythm and allows parents and caregivers to get more rest and promoting better bonding! You can find her at https:epcdoula.com!
EPC Doula | Fertility ~ Sleep ~ Postpartum Care in MA, NH, & Virtual

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